What’s in a Name?
Together-With Therapy: Hold, Honor, Heal.
At Together-With Therapy, our name and slogan are not just words—they are a concise philosophy of how we approach healing and growth.
Together-With: The Relational Core of Therapy
In therapy, we often talk about the importance of the therapeutic relationship. But for us, it's more than just rapport; it’s a process of co-creation.
It’s Not Done To You or For You: Our foundational belief is that healing doesn't happen when a therapist "does" something to a client. It happens when two individuals commit to being with one another in an authentic, complex, and intentional space. We co-create the experience, the insights, and the path forward, together.
The Power of Connection/Disconnection/Reconnection: This "Together-With" space is inherently dynamic. It's where the inevitable ups and downs of any real relationship play out—the small moments of understanding, the tiny miscommunications (disconnection), and the subsequent effort to restore understanding (reconnection). These repeated, successful experiences of connection are the very engine of change in psychodynamic therapy.
The "Easter Egg": Neurobiology in Two Words
Beyond the relational, Together-With contains a subtle nod to how the brain actually rewrites old, painful patterns—a process called memory reconsolidation.
To truly unlearn an old emotional response (like panic when faced with a small perceived threat), your brain must hold two contrasting pieces of information simultaneously:
The old, limiting belief (the old emotional learning deep in your memory).
The new, disconfirming experience (new experiential knowledge encountered in therapy and/or daily life).
The act of holding that original experience "together with" the new one, without contradiction, is what allows the neurobiological "lock" on the old emotional pattern to dissolve, preparing the soil for permanent, transformational change to take root.
The Together-With phrase is also a "micro-nod" to the “two-handed" technique sometimes used in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) therapy, where we practice mindfully holding one perspective or experience "together with" a contrasting or adversarial one, in order to highlight the difference and facilitate change.
The Slogan: Hold, Honor, Heal
Our slogan hints at the guiding principles of phase-oriented therapeutic work (originated by early pioneer of Western trauma studies, French psychiatrist Pierre Janet). This approach is particularly important when addressing complex trauma or other deeply held pain from the past, but we believe it has value for all good therapy.
1. Hold (Safety and Stabilization)
What it means: The word Hold represents the safe, reliable, and consistent container we create together—the holding environment referenced in early work by pioneers in the fields of trauma theory and attachment relationships.
The Work: Before any deep work can be done, the therapeutic relationship must be felt as a safe harbor. We focus on building stability, developing coping resources, and regulating the nervous system so that the work we do is grounded, not overwhelming. This holding is the foundation of Phase 1 work.
2. Honor (Processing and Grieving)
What it means: Honor is the act of acknowledging, valuing, and respecting the entirety of your history and your current inner world. We hold a deep respect for:
Your Story: Honoring the narrative of what you survived.
Your Adaptations: Honoring the ways you adapted to survive your experiences—the strategies that once protected you, even if they are painful now.
Your Parts: This is also a "micro-nod" to IFS-informed (Internal Family Systems) therapy, where we learn to befriend the different aspects (sometimes called "parts") of our psyches, recognizing their positive intentions as well as the burdens that they carry.
The Work: This is the core of Phase 2, where we gently turn toward the pain, the burden, and the difficult emotions, not to erase them, but to truly see them and integrate them into a complete sense of self.
3. Heal (Integration and Growth)
What it means: Heal is the natural outcome of dedicated, relational work. It's the development of integration across your life.
The Work: This is Phase 3: the movement toward integration and growth. Healing develops as your internal narrative shifts, your relationships become more satisfying, and your daily functioning feels less burdened and more expansive. Healing is not a destination; it's the continuous, unfolding process of living more fully in the present.
The Full Picture: Shared and Ongoing Work
Therapy is not a one-time fix or a checklist to complete. Our slogan is not about what you or I do in isolation. The full heart of our approach is captured in the expanded slogan:
Holding Your Story,
Honoring What Protected You,
Healing Through Connection.
Hold, Honor, and Heal represents our value for therapy as a shared and ongoing experience. Together-With aims to foster continuous relational encounters where deep, neurobiologically-rooted change can take place.
